The Gibbons-fail post-mortems are starting to trickle in, and one particularly obnoxious contribution dripped from the lips of one former Gibboid:

Even supporters noted that Gibbons had a chilly relationship with some media, state lawmakers and lobbyists.

“But that’s Jim Gibbons,” Uithoven said. “He was never one of the good [...]]]>

GIbbons in Retirement

The Gibbons-fail post-mortems are starting to trickle in, and one particularly obnoxious contribution dripped from the lips of one former Gibboid:

Even supporters noted that Gibbons had a chilly relationship with some media, state lawmakers and lobbyists.

“But that’s Jim Gibbons,” Uithoven said. “He was never one of the good ol’ boys. He didn’t like them, and they didn’t like him, and he kind of liked it that way.

“There is a lot of faking in politics, and Gibbons wasn’t the kind of guy to fake how he felt about you,” Uithoven said. “Those people involved in state politics have a pretty good idea of what Gibbons thought of them. A lot of other governors have been able to hide that.” (RGJ)

Oh, sniff! The reason Gibbons failed was he was just too authentic! Just too maver-icky for the jaded Nevada elites! Sniff.

Bull-hockey. The Gibbons Gube campaign in 2006 was constructed out of pure, un-pasteurized fake, as have been the last three or four gubernatorial anointings. At least since Guinn first ran, Nevada elites have selected their candidate well in advance and sold a carefully constructed simulacrum to an apathetic electorate. Jon Ralston could easily put out editions of his book the Anointed One for the first Gibbons’ campaign and Sandoval’s by simply doing a global search and replace: substituting “Sandoval” or “Gibbons” for “Guinn” throughout the text. The only reason the elites deserted Gibbons was that he made himself unelectable through sheer ineptitude and an Ahab-like obsession with his marriage.

As for Gibbons being a maverick, that was the most cynical invention of the Gibbons’ mythos–if one can speak of a Gibbons’ mythos without breaking into hysterics. Gibbons was a lock-step Republican stuffed-shirt throughout his tenure in the House. He could always be relied upon to support the party line no matter how crooked that line was. Back home, he was the first of the Nevada delegation in line to cozy up to Reno elites to trade campaign contributions for fast-track earmarking for Nevada projects. How soon we forget eTreppid and Sierra Nevada Corp.

Still, I suppose if folks want to start lying about the Gibbons-years, well, they will just be contributing to a tradition that is at least 15 years old already.

Yup, we’ve all learned how to behave like proper Nevada gentlefolk from [...]]]> If you’re like me, I’m sure the first person who comes to mind when you’re looking for someone to set the highest standards of proper behavior and social mores is none other that James Tiberius Gibbons, one time Guberator of the former state of Nevada.

Yup, we’ve all learned how to behave like proper Nevada gentlefolk from the Gibster. Why he’s no doubt encouraged many a Nevada lad and lassie to use the boss’s Blackberry to sext up extra-spousal partners, taught them that the only way to divorce is to divorce ugly, and that the whole point of gaining a position of power is perpetual partisan pandering with a healthy dash of mindless sloganeering.

So, if you’re like me, you were no doubt thrilled down to your very toes to hear the Guv offer his advice about Nevada’s most burning non-issue: how to pronounce the state appellation, viewable above. (NNB,Sun)

Still, it is surely fitting that the issue be throughly reported and analyzed. After all, any sentence containing the words Nevada and economy naturally spurs thoughts of apocalypse and nightmare, so, naturally, nobody wants to talk or read about that, especially anyone who might actually be in a position to do something nothing about it. Besides, what else can one report about the Gube? That he first was against, and is now in favor, of accepting the latest round of stimulus funds? That he’ll fill out the application form with crayon and feces, dooming its acceptance? How many times can one report on the same thing?

So, yes, dear media machine feed me trivia about how to pronounce the former state’s name. It will serve well as the sobriquet of the nation’s first Ghost State–the nation’s very own Rhyolite–no matter how it’s pronounced.

The first Depression had Fred and Ginger to distract folks from their woes. We have: Jim Gibbons.

Cross posted from nevadascandalmonger.com.

A strange illness originally seen in the Nevada Governor’s office in Carson City is now spreading through the campaign sites of several prominent Republican candidates.

The malady,whose main symptom appears to be an astounding loss of visibility, was first reported when no one could quite determine the location [...]]]>

Jim Gibbons and Brian Sandoval Suffering from Invisibility Malady

A strange illness originally seen in the Nevada Governor’s office in Carson City is now spreading through the campaign sites of several prominent Republican candidates.

The malady,whose main symptom appears to be an astounding loss of visibility, was first reported when no one could quite determine the location of the putative Gube of Nevada, one James Tiberius Gibbons, during a recent meeting of the state prison board.

“It was as if he didn’t show up at all,” explained a staffer working for Nevada Secretary of State Ross Miller, who wished to remain anonymous due to lack of ontological standing. “Why, the A[ttorney] G[eneral Catherine Cortez Masto] and Ross simply vote for whatever they want, just like Gibbons were invisible or something.” The staffer was referring to a recent decision by the prison board, which consists of the Governor, the Secretary of State, and Attorney General, where a proposal by Gibbons to close a prison was voted down. (RJ)

The strange illness was soon found to be spreading throughout the Nevada’s administrative branch of state government as staffers suddenly failed to appear at Legislative budget reviews. (RJ,Sun) “It wasn’t that they didn’t attend,” insisted one staffer on promise of anonymity due to chronic incorporeality, “they were freaking invisible, man!”

Reports are now coming in that Guberatorial candidate Brian Sandoval, rumored to be the Guberator’s missing twin brother, has also been overcome with the disease, as an extensive man-hunt has failed to pinpoint his exact location. Some doctors speculate the Mr. Sandoval may also be suffering from nodebateitus, an illness that sometimes overcomes candidates lacking anything interesting to say besides “no new taxes.” “Sandoval and Mr. Gibbons seem to have that lack of meaningful budgetary policy in common,” said a pundit from UNLV who wished to remain anonymous because he was moving to a school that actually has pay checks.

The strange disease manifested itself at a recent meeting of the Nevada State Republican party where prominent Republicans John Ensign, and Dean Heller, as well as Jim Gibbons, could not be seen. Asked why he wasn’t invisible, Mayor Oscar Goodman, who was attending the meeting but no one knew why, replied, “Ha. There’s more gin than blood in my veins, newbie! Ain’t a bug alive that could live in there for two seconds!”

Francis Plutarch III, who was attending the convention, added, shaking his head, “You silly liberal press. You just don’t get it. If you want to see any of the candidates, simply hold a couple of teabags over your eyes! Poof, like magic! You’ll see anything you want!”

Reports are now coming in that the Guberator is planning to make his almost ex-wife disappear as well, given that the Reno house is about to be sold. (Sun) Selling the house was a condition of the couple’s divorce settlement. “The invisibility of the Gibbons can’t come soon enough for Nevadans,” said one disreputable blogger, who hardly needs to be named.

Cross posted from NevadaScandalmonger.com, which is where the new posts really are.

This time I’m moving into more permanent digs, though 10 years on Vote Gibbons Out is an eternity on the Internets. They are more permanent in the sense that the target [...]]]> Hey, that’s what we do in Vegas! We move in for a few days, find out how screwed the place is, and then we move out.

This time I’m moving into more permanent digs, though 10 years on Vote Gibbons Out is an eternity on the Internets. They are more permanent in the sense that the target will be more permanent. Instead of poking fun at Gibbons, I’ll be poking fun at the State of Nevada. There is certainly an infinite supply of absurdity there.

The fun takes place over at NevadaScandalmonger.Com. See you there.

I hear tell that you will be picking an artist for the official portrait of Nevada guberator and Chief Scallywag Jim Gibbons. (NNB)

I myself cannot think of a dumber waste of state funds during these trying times. However, if you insist on wasting money on such a dumbass project, my I [...]]]> Dear Mr Senator Steven Horsford Sir,

I hear tell that you will be picking an artist for the official portrait of Nevada guberator and Chief Scallywag Jim Gibbons. (NNB)

I myself cannot think of a dumber waste of state funds during these trying times. However, if you insist on wasting money on such a dumbass project, my I suggest that you send me the money, and I’ll Photoshop something up in a jiffy which will sum up the Gibbons gubeocracy to a “T”.

The above is just a sample, showing the Gøøber as a clueless David with a napkin hat while putative GOP insiders anoint Brian Sandoval behind his back.

True, Gibbers looks like an idealized fantasy of himself, but then that’s what the whole last 4 years have looked liked to the Gube, as far as I can tell.

Let me know if you want to follow up on my suggestion.

Sincerely, sorta, yours,

The ‘Monger

Still I’m gonna come right out and say it: I told you so.

Didn’t I warn you that if you didn’t vote for Jim Gibbons in the primary, [...]]]> You know, I could probably drive everyone nuts if I said I told you so every time I was right when predicting erratic behavior from the man we call Gube.

Still I’m gonna come right out and say it: I told you so.

Didn’t I warn you that if you didn’t vote for Jim Gibbons in the primary, that he’d go goofy and pull all sorts of awful stuff and become a lame duck on steroids? And wouldn’t we all sleep better in our beds if we knew Gibbons was out trying to elect himself to Gubery instead of having a ton of free time on his hands to muck around in state government and cast lustful thoughts on Reno MILFs?

Why is it that you never listen to me? Just look what’s on Gibber’s plate: a grotesque budget which will make every state department look like that pervo show that was in Vegas with carved up bodies on display, and one final stab at the Nevada Constitution by trying to kill of the Legislative Interim Finance Committee. (Sun)

And, holy bejeebus: mowing the lawn!

It’s as if Gibbons and the staff can’t tell the difference between a crushing defeat and a mandate. True, as one staffer asserted, the Guv was elected to a four year term, although it’s seemed like forty, hasn’t it? Still, when a majority of voters from your own party tells you that you have no popular support, you’d think some one who has yammered about how swell it is to defend democracy and abiding by the will of the people would take the hint.

Perhaps the explanation for the post-election boost in gubernatorial nuttery might be explained best by the staff being taken over by aliens from outer space. I cite as evidence that strange manner of speech adopted by Gibbons’ spokster/puppetmeister Lynn Hetrick:

“We’re not happy with IFC and think it regularly oversteps its authority,” Hettrick said. When asked if they are willing to challenge its constitutionality — sometimes referred to as the “nuclear option” — Hettrick said, “Are we willing? Yes. Are we going to? We haven’t made up our minds.”

Did you see that? “Our minds”?

It’s pretty clear that the staff has been taken over by some horrid, pulsating hive mind set on softening up Nevada before invading us to ingest our men and procreate with our women.

Don’t believe me? They have already tried to gas the Nevada State Insurance Division! Everybody knows: so goes the NSID, so goes Nevada!

Program note: since you dumb asses don’t see the need to immediately call in the state legislature to impeach Gibbons despite his primary loss, it looks like I’ll have to lurk around here in VGO and fulfill it’s motto: following Gibbers until the bitter end, which may be never when those aliens pull their coup d’etat.

Don’t think so? Well, don’t make me say I told you so!

As such, it would be truly moronic to continue a blog called Vote Gibbons Out, unless one planned to discuss the failing of political apes. Granted that [...]]]> It’s official. The Associated Press called the Nevada Republican Governor’s primary race for Brian Sandoval a while ago, and thus endeth the perplexing political career of one James Tiberius Gibbons.

As such, it would be truly moronic to continue a blog called Vote Gibbons Out, unless one planned to discuss the failing of political apes. Granted that wouldn’t be much of a stretch.

Whether I will continue to blog on anything at this point is an open question I have yet to resolve. There is Nor’Town, but whether I will continue that project is unknown as well. In any case, I will be taken an extended hiatus from blogging. That may extend to a time at which blogging will have joined the likes of Hula Hoops and iPads.

I suppose if the lame duck interregnum becomes too awful, I might feel compelled to say something. We’ll see.

To my fans, all two of you, I extend my best wishes. I’d leave a silver bullet, too, but I can hardly afford in Nevada’s current economy, or lack thereof.