You know, that’s the wonderful gift of Jim Gibbons. Just when you think there is absolutely no way that something new or more bizarre could appear in the horrorshow of what historians will call, with a wry disbelieving shake of their heads, The Gibbons’ Term,” something incredibly batshit gonzo new shows up.
Tonight George Knapp gave us some truly awful tidbits from the secret life of Jim Gibbons that, you know, when you read about them, some little bit of yourself will die inside. For example,
Gibbons claims he hasn’t had sex with anyone since the 1990’s. If true–Jesus, did we really have to know about it? And if false–Jesus, what kind of mind would make up such a lie?
According to Wendy Hanley a putative pal of alleged Gibbons paramour Leslie Durant, Gibbons and Durant held assignations in a “Love Condo.” It’s just so nauseating and nauseatingly bourgeoisie at the same time.
Wendy claims she and Durant followed Gibbons around as he allegedly cheated on the woman he was cheating his wife on. (KLAS)
Man, am I gonna have nightmares tonight.
And, yet, he’s still the clear front-runner in the Nevada Gube GOP primary, bar none.
Nevada Senate Majority Leader Steven Horford is having a Høøt the Gøøb party in Nor’Town during Nevada governor Jim Gibbons’ “emergency” state of the state (subtitled: time to move to Idaho!) speech this Monday.
Oh, okay, it’s not really called a “Høøt the Gøøb” party, but I’m sure the senator won’t mind some høøting during the speech.
Governor Jim Gibbons met the minimal standards of performance originally defined in the gube debates back in 2006 and maintained throughout his first term when giving his deposition down at the court house on Friday. Gibbons after some legal squirming was required to answer questions for four hours from Chrissy Mazzeo’s lawyer as part of her ongoing suit claiming that the Gibbers molested her, and his juiced pals attempted to cover it up.
Gibbons held to the standard of behavior set during the gubernatorial race with Dina Titus. Gibbons thrived on the ultra low expectations set for him in the debates during that race, according to which the then-candidate was awarded a “win” as long as he didn’t throw up on the stage or wet himself in public.
In fact, his attorney in the case alluded to the minimal standard Friday:
“The entire time he maintained his composure, and I’m very proud of him,” said attorney Pat Lundvall, who represents the governor. (RJ)
Yes, his attorney is “proud” he “maintained his composure” as if, perhaps, she were expecting instead a projectile spewing of the governor’s corn flakes on the court’s table accompanied by an unintelligible tirade about taxes, Ronald Reagan, and staring down the gun barrels of a MiG.
Still, the Gube’s a sure winner in the primary if he can maintain those lowered expectations. Indeed most everyone in the state except yours truly and some octogenarians in Fallon and Incline Village have written the governor off already.
Well, just keep those lowered expectations, my friends. Folks will expect Mr. Sandoval to come up with plans to balance budgets and bring jobs back to Nevada, stuff apparently no human being could possibly deliver.
But all Gibbons has to do is show up without throw up, and everyone will sing his praises.
Just give up now, Mr. Sandoval. You’ve already lost.
U.S. Magistrate Judge Peggy Leen agreed to move the deposition of the Gøøber in the grope-the-waitress suit to the Lloyd George courthouse today. Apparently the Guv’s attorneys didn’t want to do it in the office of Chrissy Mazzeo’s lawyer because there are all sorts of sharp objects in the room. Given that the Gube’s in one real chop and snip mood these days, everyone was concerned he might grab one of the implements and remove 10%, across-the-board from everyone in the room.
UPDATE: George Knapp is promising a story about “a surprise witness who says she saw evidence of [Gibbers'] affairs with her own eyes” (LVNow)
Bill Raggio will become Nevada’s CEO if Brian Sandoval wins, pundit warns. (Barbwire) Whether that’s a step up from his current position of boss RINO, nobody knows.
Tto those of us towards the south of Nor’Town, anyways…
Here’s the press release:
Las Vegas, NV – Rory Reid will attend a house party hosted by Assemblyman Harvey Munford on Friday, January 5, at 6 p.m. near Martin Luther King Boulevard and Washington Street.
Munford, a state assemblyman representing the established neighborhoods of West Las Vegas since 2004, taught Rory ninth grade U.S. history and physical education at Cashman Junior High.
“I’m excited to see one of my former students succeed,” Munford said. “Rory is making education and economic diversity priorities in his important campaign. As a teacher and public official those have also been my top priorities.”
Members of the community are welcome to attend this event. An RSVP for space planning purposes is requested by email to rsvp@roryreid.com or by calling 1-877-767-9201. The event will be in Munford’s home at 809 Sunny Place in Las Vegas (click for map).
Munford taught in the Clark County School District for more than 36 years and at the College of Southern Nevada for 25 years. He now serves District 6, which includes neighborhoods in West Las Vegas, as well as part of the downtown casino area and the Doolittle Community Center.
Rory Reid is the first candidate to offer a plan that offers solutions for today and a vision for Nevada’s future success. Reid’s vision includes plans for the future of our state’s economy, workforce, education system, energy production and business development.
Copies of the 30-page document — “The Virtual Crossroads: Rory Reid’s Vision for the Future of Nevada” – are available at RoryReid.com.
I’m guessing they’ll even let in RIROs, like yours truly.
Woah. Somebody on the crack taxpayer-funded governor’s executive staff/re-elect the gøøber committee finally added me to the guber e-mail list.
And what a swell e-mail I got! Why it has all those nifty, get out the core ideas you’d expect from the Governor, like a dead-on-arrival call for vouchers!
Why, it even has bullet points!
My [Gibbers'] plan to overhaul the education system begins with these steps:
Adopt a statewide voucher system, give parents choice and control, and give school districts more power over the way their funding is allocated.
Allow more flexibility in school structure and planning by eliminating local government and school district collective bargaining. This will return control of the education system to parents, students, and school boards in the local communities.
Eliminate the elected state Board of Education and replace it with a five member advisory board. The State Superintendent of Education would be hired by, serve at the pleasure of, and report to the Governor.
Streamline K-12 school funding and create empowerment school districts, letting school districts decide where to best put those resources based on their student populations.
Teachers and parents all across Nevada have contacted me and applauded our efforts to find new solutions to old problems. We can work together with innovation and determination to make Nevada schools a model for the future! (Sun and my e-mail box!)
And don’t forget to put an exclamation point after every tired proposal, including the ancient elephant call for vouchers and a retread of the governor’s empowerment schools proposal from the first SOTS speech in 2007! Empowerment schools was an idea, by the way, which Legislative Democrats embraced!
Of course, it’s all just a repeat from a Gube press release from a month ago! But, still, thanks guys!
Still, the proposals obviously don’t go far enough! If you really want to privatize education, just hand the contract over to somebody like Goldman Sachs or General Motors! They know how to run a bidness!
Also, note another shattering success for the campaign, which is obviously building steam! Over at the campaign site, we’re told that the Governor beat Brian Sandoval in a straw poll of the Clark County GOP!
Yes, it’s true that Gibbons beat Sandoval in the poll, but ex-Norftown mayor Mike Montandon beat them all! What does that tell you about that poll?
Mike Montandon – 34%
Jim Gibbons – 29%
Brian Sandoval – 26%
Undecided – 11% (CCGOP)
But, hey, a sitting Gube came in second! Not bad, given the Gøøber’s real strength is really out in the cow counties!
Nonetheless, us’n RIRO’s are still hopeful! I’m all set for the GOP Precinct meetings this month! I’ve got my registration card and my Gibbons’ vote all set! Just one thing: do we have to provide our own tinfoil hat? Anybody have any fashion pointers about those things? I’ve never been to one before! Does it cost a grand or more to get in? Do you have to wear a tux and a top hat? Maybe a monocle?
And enough with the exclamation points already!!!!
Speaking to the Mount Rose Republican Women the other day, my candidate for the Republican gubernatorial primary, one James Tiberius Gibbons, spouted the following:
I am pro-nuclear but I have to be against Yucca Mountain and it’s not because it’s politically motivated. I’m a scientist, remember. I know you can store nuclear waste safely. I am anti Yucca Mountain because it was designed in 1970 for the shutdown of the nuclear energy industry. It was designed to tear it (nuclear power plants) all down, put it in this hole, cover it up, walk away and never again would America be involved again with nuclear energy. (NN?&V)
Now lots of folks were no doubt stunned by the intellectual subtlety of that I have to be against Yucca statement, which seems to connote that if’n he had his druthers and didn’t have to pander to fickle Nevada voters, the Guv would go full-out List-shit FOR the Yucca Mountain Nuke Waste Pit and Splatter Shield Dump.
No, wait, it’s his Masters of Science degree that’s holding him back. And why? Not because his MS in rocks says Yucca Mountain is based on bad science, which it may or may not be, but because he knows the super-secret truth behind Yucca Mountain:
It was created to shut done the nuclear industry.
Gee, where to start?
Gibbons super-secret truth is a political one, by the way, not having anything to do with geology or nuclear physics. So, it must not be coming from his spider-sense scientisty side.
Gibbons super-secret truth isn’t a truth. You’re invited to dig through the project’s document database for a shred of evidence supporting it.
Forty years later, the nuke industry is hardly dead, what with 104 commercial nuclear fires burning away making the U.S. the leading producer of commercial nuclear power.
But wait, here comes the best part:
There are no new nuclear power plants being constructed. There’s a lot being talked about, but I guarantee you when G.W. Bush left office the opportunity to even talk about new nuclear power plants went out the door. (NN?&V)
Now granted the dear ladies at the Mount Rose Republicans Club were probably enthralled with this last trinket of wisdom, that is, until they turned on the T.V. to watch a non-G.W.Bush president give his state of the union and say how much he loves nuclear power. (ABC)
Now, you would think that such an obvious misstatement of the president’s views might sour the dear ladies of Mount Rose on the Gube. Not to worry. Like real Nevada Republicans, the dear ladies wouldn’t watch the prez on TV even if you threatened to burn the Nixon was Misunderstood framed embroidery sampler over the fireplace or melt down the Franklin Mint Sliver-plated Norquist Bathtub displayed proudly in the hutch.
Finally, to add insult to Gibbons’ injury, if that’s possible, the Obama administration looks like it will finally kill the Yucca Mountain project. (Sun) Surely that’s grossly unfair to steal another issue from the Guv just when he’d reached perhaps the most tangled stance ever seen on the subject.
Guv Jim Gibbons got the crack governor staff/re-elect Jimbo team up early today to jump all over Harry Reid for failing to get on a government give-away list for high-speed trains. (Gube)
Now, I suppose I could go to a lot of work responding to Gibbers’ tirade, but it’s a lot more fun to see what showed up in my mailbox from the majority leader’s office:
REID SPOKESMAN: IF JIM GIBBONS WANTS TO KNOW WHY MAGLEV DIDN’T GET MONEY, HE SHOULD LOOK IN THE MIRROR
Rail project rejected because Nevada Dept. of Transportation failed to apply
Washington, DC – Jon Summers, Spokesman for Nevada Senator Harry Reid, issued the following statement in response to Governor Jim Gibbons’ latest attack on Sen. Reid.
“If Jim Gibbons wants to know why Maglev didn’t get any of the $8 billion in stimulus money announced today for high-speed rail, he should look in the mirror. The U.S. Department of Transportation explained very clearly in its letter to Maglev that it would not receive this funding because ‘only States, Groups of States, Interstate Compacts or Public Agencies’ could apply for funding. If anyone was asleep at the switch, it was Governor Gibbons because his department of transportation failed to apply.”
Woah. Talk about picky. Going after Gibbons just because he didn’t apply for any of the money and then he starts whining about it. Almost seems unfair, don’t it? Especially when Gibbons has proven again and again he can’t be expected to apply for stimulus funds in a timely manner.
And then there’s this from the State Dem’s:
Gibbons drags feet on spending stimulus, then blames feds
Las Vegas, NV. – Given his abysmal record of creating jobs with Nevada’s $1.6 billion in American Recovery and Reinvestment Act funding, Gov. Jim Gibbons is far from qualified to criticize the way that funding is distributed. Neglecting to apply for funding for the Maglev high speed train project he claims to support is only his latest failure.
Since Democrats – led by Sen. Harry Reid and Congresswomen Dina Titus and Shelley Berkley – passed the recovery package last year, Gibbons has:
Opposed the legislation altogether.
Threatened not to accept any stimulus money for Nevada.
Been criminally slow to use the $1.6 billion in funding Nevada was allotted to create good paying jobs and revive the economy.
And dropped the ball on applying for funding for any rail project in Nevada.
On Thursday Gibbons launched into one of his ill-conceived attacks when $8 billion in funding for high speed rail went to projects in other states. Never mind that $2.25 billion went to a Southern California rail project that will pave the way for a similar project in Nevada.
The reality is, thanks to Gibbons dismal leadership, Nevada has lagged behind almost every other state in spending the stimulus dollars it’s already been awarded. As of September, the Gibbons administration has created 3 jobs with $35 million in clean energy funding. In a recent congressional analysis, the state ranked 49th in spending its funding for clean water projects. And earlier this week Congressional Quarterly reported that Nevada was 49th in spending stimulus money the state received for transportation.
It was Gibbons who dropped the ball by not even applying for funding high speed rail – which was available only to states or public agencies.
“If Gov. Gibbons had gotten his way, the people of Nevada wouldn’t have seen a single dime from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act,” said Phoebe Sweet, communications director for the Nevada State Democratic Party. “Gibbons has said he wishes this legislation — legislation that created jobs by funding highways, road and clean energy construction and put $500 million back in the pockets of 1 million Nevada families — would never have passed in the first place.
“This is just the latest example of how out of touch Jim Gibbons is with Nevadans. Just ask the construction workers who have been hired thanks to this legislation, to the teachers in the classroom and the cops on the beat thanks to this legislation, to the taxpayers who have a little more to spend each month because of this legislation.
Jim Gibbons is right that unemployed construction workers should be livid, but they should be livid at the governor for dragging his feet on spending the stimulus funding that could be used to put them to work.”
Yeah, well, so? Attacking Jim Gibbons over incompetence is like attacking a snail for being slow. He just can’t help it.
Governor Jim Gibbons met the minimal standards of performance originally defined in the gube debates back in 2006 and maintained throughout his first term when giving his deposition down at the court house on Friday. Gibbons after some legal squirming was required to answer questions for four hours from Chrissy Mazzeo’s lawyer as part of her ongoing suit claiming that the Gibbers molested her, and his juiced pals attempted to cover it up.
U.S. Magistrate Judge Peggy Leen agreed to move the deposition of the Gøøber in the 
Woah. Somebody on the crack taxpayer-funded governor’s executive staff/re-elect the gøøber committee finally added me to the guber e-mail list.
Speaking to the Mount Rose Republican Women the other day, my candidate for the Republican gubernatorial primary, one James Tiberius Gibbons, spouted the following:
Guv Jim Gibbons got the crack governor staff/re-elect Jimbo team up early today to jump all over Harry Reid for failing to get on a government give-away list for high-speed trains. (
Las Vegas, NV. – Given his abysmal record of creating jobs with Nevada’s $1.6 billion in American Recovery and Reinvestment Act funding, Gov. Jim Gibbons is far from qualified to criticize the way that funding is distributed. Neglecting to apply for funding for the Maglev high speed train project he claims to support is only his latest failure.
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